i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
They took my balls.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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