Just fell off a train. Bad.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
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