Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
