I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
