Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
