i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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