i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
