he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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