Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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