I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
