I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
