Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
