i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Did I show you my penis last night?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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