dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
