not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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