She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
