sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
