so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
