I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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