Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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