Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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