i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
