I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
