He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
