i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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