Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
