dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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