I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
