its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
