Moan for me like Helen Keller
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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