Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
