I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
