I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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