As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
