Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
