officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize