Nicole vs. Life
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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