I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
