Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Im part way to drunk.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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