I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
