There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
