Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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