Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
