Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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