i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Less talking, more tequila
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
