you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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