Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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