Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
