good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
