I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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